Grief

Just recently I got a telephone call from a cousin of mine to tell me that her little grandson, aged 2 months, had passed away. It had been a difficult pregnancy and this beautiful little soul was born way too early. His little body had fought to sustain his life, but eventually, it just gave in. My heart so goes out to these parents for this terrible loss.

Every day someone, somewhere, loses someone they love. And I suppose that when that person passing, has lived a long life, it somehow feels so much more inevitable, than when a very young person or little baby passes. Somehow it feels so much more like the natural order of life.

Essentially grief is just that, no matter who it is in your life that you have lost. It is natural for us to love our families and our friends and over time, we forge bonds that are so strong, that when the loss occurs, it becomes very difficult to endure. And even though the loss of a loved one is going to be experienced by us all at some point through our lives, grief is always something so very personal.

Some people find it very difficult to show their emotions or even allow themselves to feel the depth of their emotions. There is that fear that somehow if you do allow yourself to become totally immersed in grief and despair, that there will be no coming back. I’m just thinking of the pain that I felt when my own mother died. I had such unbelievable pain in my chest to the point that I became really ill and lost my voice for 6 weeks after her passing.

We are all joined together by silver cords that unite us in our soul groups and of course, when that silver thread is broken through the process of death, it can be physically felt by the one being left behind in the physical world. And so it is that our auras become torn and through the process of allowing ourselves to feel the grief and the loss and working through the healing of that grief and loss, so our auras become repaired and the physical pain becomes less.

I believe too that there are people who, through not allowing themselves to feel the grief and loss, begin to act out in other ways, finding different ways of expressing their emotions. Depression can set in and at times, people have been known to become a danger to themselves and others. This, due to pent up hurt and anger that has to find a release in some form. And so from time to time, some people may require the help of a professional to get them to understand that what they are feeling is normal and to find a way to express what they are feeling in a way that is beneficial to their healing process.

Grief is such a difficult emotion to explain and this is probably why everyone has to find their own way to work through it. It’s not something that can just be set aside. It’s not something that you can have now and know that by the time 3 months has passed, it will be gone. It isn’t even something that you can feel now and be ‘over’ in 10 or 20 years. It’s an emotion that at times you can feel you’ve worked through and then somewhere, completely out of left field, it can hit you like a tonne of bricks! It can creep back up on you and before you know it, those emotions that you thought you had overcome, are right back there, very real and very exposed.

So, I suppose the question is this really – do we actually ever stop grieving for someone that we loved and lost? And for me, the answer to that question is no. I think we just find a way to live with it and we just find a way to live without them. Knowing that we can still communicate with them is a comfort. And knowing that they are still with us is also comforting. But, nothing beats the feeling of a physical hug, hearing that person’s voice, knowing that they are just a phone call away.

Having been a medium for so long, I see the benefit in going for a reading. I see how people feel so much more at ease and at peace, when they connect with someone they love in spirit. I see how much pleasure it can bring to someone to have a loved one in spirit validate something that only they would know and to acknowledge too that they know how much they were loved. There are often instances where a loved one will come through and apologise for something that they did or ask that they not be remembered by the way that they passed, and rather by the way that they lived their life. And so, for me, I think that having a reading can be part of the healing that a lot of people need and I am eternally grateful for the opportunity to be the conduit that forms the communication and brings about that sense of peace and connectedness.