I Found Me!

I hung out with the crowd for over ten years. It all started at a playdate to socialize my only child. I became the group’s event planner, hosting huge parties and group camping events. As my child was getting older and finding her interests, I started looking at the group through another lens. I started tasting the drama between the women. There were the ones who would trample anyone to please the queen. There were the ones that would follow along at any cost as they desperately wanted to belong somewhere.

I exited the group. I walked away from my family’s social life. Something was pulling at my gut for quite some time, and finally, I just left. I mourned the loss of many relationships by writing; then, I started walking. And boy, did I start walking.

I found that by walking in silence, things start coming to me. I made it a practice to allow any busy thoughts access for the first mile. After that mile, I gently shoved the thoughts away and kept them there. This became such a beautiful time in my life. I was bathed in silence as I walked through the forest. I realized I had to be in nature. I spent more time on the Oregon coast and in our gorgeous mountains.

Walking became such a productive and peaceful practice that one day, I forced myself to go home after thirteen miles. My hips started to ache. But so much started coming through when I would be outside that I never wanted to go in.

Little did I know that by implementing this simple practice of quieting my mind and moving my body outside, I was changing the course of my existence. We don’t do this anymore.

During these walks, I had my phone with me. I used it to record the stuff that poured out of me. Never did I use it for entertainment or to fill my brain. This made all the difference. I found myself living in a space of complete silence and stillness. What once was ‘women drama’ and day drinking was now something I had never felt before. I felt so happy to my soul; I just didn’t understand why.

Fast forward a decade plus. Stepping into silence was my opening to spirit. All of my life, I knew there was something I needed to find. I never stopped the search. At one point, about two years ago, I realized I was no longer looking. I was at the space that I was climbing to find. I couldn’t believe there actually was a destination that I was seeking. There is a place we all want to get to while we walk on this planet in the flesh, and I found it.

While my daughter and her dad were amping up their phone usage at home, I was winding down in the trees. They were getting further and further away from reality, and I was getting closer and closer. The disparity between us became wider and wider.

By slipping into the stillness, guidance led me to a breadcrumb trail of books. These books would become downloads into my soul for me to re-member everything about each topic. After listening to Eckhart Tolle’s, The Power of Now, it hit me that I was living in the present. I went from having a normal human’s monkey mind to no thoughts. I was in the present moment only. This is where I stayed.

Each book downloaded something new into my soul. In five years, I downloaded all the secrets to existence and creation.

I found that I no longer fit in anywhere that was my previous “normal.” I had to leave my 25-year radio career. I couldn’t stand living in the city where you can hear the freeway, lawn equipment, all of the stuff people do to “fit in” in the world they agreed to. The gap between where I was spiritually and where my husband’s addiction to his phone and the TV took him, we had to go our separate ways. I felt such a call to be alone.

I carried a victim card for the first thirty years of my life. When I dropped the story and pulled up my big girl pants, I started taking responsibility for how I felt.

During my marriage, I was constantly compromising, sick, and unhappy. When I started to speak my truth, this was when everything started falling apart. He would ask if I wanted to go to the lake, and instead of getting my stuff ready to go, I said, “no.” I didn’t want to go; why did I always go? I started finding hundreds of times when I said yes and wanted to say no.

I moved to the peaceful coast. With virtually no human contact, I was zooped up to the final place I needed to get to for this incarnation. On 12-21-21, between 1 am & 2 am, I dropped into a puddle of death with a high fever for twenty minutes. The fever broke, and I was back to normal as if nothing had happened.

On 1-12-22, between 1 pm & 2 pm, I had my first one-on-one meeting with God.

After I was in my new home on the coast, after a painful five-day rebirthing process, the rest of me cracked wide open. The woman who moved to the coast checked every box on her earthly to-do list. She got through the final lessons she came to get through. Now, she lives the rest of this life through her higher self. No longer does she need to access “guidance.” Now, she is guidance.

My family and I cannot speak because they see me as too weird. My crime was walking away from technology and expectation. I cannot see the world from the same lens that they do. I learned in January that my child has been receiving an inheritance all four college years. She has never had to work. She has no fire in her belly as I did. I can’t help her in this world. I can’t help her find it.

Walking away from chaos and drama, I walked into the secret elixir – going inside, and turning off the rest of the world. I put my phone away. By following my arrow that I was here to follow, I found how to live as spirit, in heaven on earth.

Cari

————————————————-

Cari Palmer Bio:

If I hadn’t lived the many phases of my life, I wouldn’t believe it could all happen in one lifetime. All I imagined after giving up my victim card was being a writer/speaker for Hay House. I was the queen of self-help and I was ready to change lives. Fast forward a decade or two and now, after re-membering who we are and why we are here, self-help was a lifetime ago.

Following my guidance has brought me to a place I couldn’t ever imagine! I have mastered living in the present moment. I have become a Zen-like creature. Once you feel this good in every moment, you can never go back. When you realize we create our own reality, why would we make any part of this thing we call life miserable?

Website: www.CariPalmer.com

YouTube: https://bit.ly/CariPalmerYouTube

Spiritual Conversations YouTube: https://bit.ly/SpiritualConversationsYouTube

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/caripalmerblogger/