In every family, we all have a role to play. Here we explore the role of the “Family Hero Child.” Let met know if you recognise yourself here, by commenting at the end of this article :
The roles that we play in our families are always so interesting. Everyone in a family has their role and that role is usually their currency. Some people are the peace-makers, others are the protectors, some are the agitators, some are simply what we generally refer to as the black sheep!
It’s not always easy to get on with all our family members and that is okay to a certain point. It is overstepping the boundaries of a healthy relationship, when we are always at logger heads with a member of our family or where you just can’t find that common ground and all interaction ceases. These are red flags and do need to be addressed. Addressing these red flags can be the most challenging of all because you may the one who is trying to set things right, but the other person just refuses to participate.
Your family play a very important role in your life. You have chosen to be a part of the family and they too have all chosen to come spend this lifetime together. Therefore, you need to know and understand that you are all each other’s teachers and students. As you learn to be kind to yourself, you can learn to be kind to them as well. Remember that they are struggling through their lives just as much as you are, even if it appears that they aren’t and it feels like they’re always the one that comes out on top.
Today I want to touch on the “The Family Hero Child.” This is the child who is the good kid. The one that’s that high achiever, follows the rules, always seeks approval and is very responsible. Generally these traits are taken with them into adulthood and because they are such positive traits, they can foster a lot of resentment in the other children in the family who perhaps don’t have as many traits that are seen as so positive.
On the other hand, this Family Hero Child generally operates from a place of guilt, hurt and a sense of inadequacy which is what drives them to be the good kid, the high achiever, the one who follows the rules, always seeks approval and acts responsibly.
These traits are this person’s currency. This child has figured out that to behave in a certain way, brings about a certain pay-off. We all do. Very early in life, we develop certain behaviours that we use as our currency to achieve a desired outcome and whether or not these behaviours are perceived to be extremely positive or extremely negative, if they work for us, we use them. Seldom do we realise that there can come a point where they no longer serve us. If and when we do, then we come to the realization that to work on ourselves and developing ourselves, is the only way to change the way we are and move into becoming who we want to be.
Behaviour is learned and taught and so essentially, it’s not difficult to change. It just take a conscious decision to develop steps to follow that we can take to bring about positive change in our life.
So if you feel like it’s time to change your life. If you feel like it’s time to transform your life and live the life you want to, I highly recommend my Power Up – Dare to be Yourself, self-development course. Click here to find out more about it.
Author: Spirit Connection
Spirit Connection is an online platform to facilitate connecting light workers with people seeking their help.
