Walking the Path of Grief

My husband and soulmate of 38 years died on the 19^th June 2019. It wasn’t unexpected, or a shock. He was 81, 21 years older than me. With the law of averages I always knew there was a high probability I would be on my own at some point. He died peacefully at home, surrounded by his loved ones.

As a Reiki Master practitioner and healer, with a deep interest in the mind/body/spirit connection, as well as the journey of the soul, I was very surprised to discover how hard grief hit me. I knew I would be mourning the loss of the love of my life but I was unprepared for the tsunami of grief that followed. It has taken nearly 4 years to get back to a semblance of normality and feel like I am ready to begin a new chapter, alone.

The Universe works in strange ways. I had no my idea my grief journey was going to take me on a whole new experience in my work. In 2021 I was guided to certify as Death Doula with Sacred Dying SA. I needed to share my experience of walking the path of grief in order to support others on the journey. Because we never “get over” grief. We learn to adjust our lives to live with it. The path itself is an endless one.

Unlike other cultures, Western society tends to shun death. We don’t want to talk about it. It’s morbid. When someone dies their body is hastily covered. Removed down back corridors. After the formalities and the funeral, all the love, support and “being there” that happens between the death and the burial, everyone returns to their own lives. This can be the loneliest time for the bereaved, as they struggle to cope in a new and unfamiliar landscape.

We are expected to contain our grief, suppress it while still being productive and functioning “normally”. We fail to recognize how the various stages of grief show up and are often completely unprepared for the upheaval that the grief journey brings.

Those around us also very often don’t know how to “be” around someone who is mourning. It is human nature to want to fix someone’s else’s pain. The reality is we can’t “fix” grief. We can’t take away the devastating pain of loss. Telling someone “they are in a better place now” or “God wanted another angel” or “it was God’s plan” is NOT helpful.

My vision is to create spaciousness for grief. Through retreats, workshops and one-on-one sessions, both in-person and virtual, for individuals and corporates. To normalize this very important (and often beautifully profound) part of the life cycle. I would love to say there is a manual to manage your grief. There isn’t. There is no sequence of events you can refer to. You are hit by waves of varying shapes and sizes at random times, catching you unawares. I have developed a powerful offering where I hold a loving, safe, non-judgemental space to make sense of, and move beyond the loss to a place of acceptance, supporting the physical body that holds all the trauma and emotion. If you would like to find out more, drop me an email at reconnectme@spiralpath.co.za or visit Grief/End-of-Life Guidance – Di Atherton

GRIEF IS NOT A DISORDER, A DISEASE OR SIGN OF WEAKNESS. IT IS AN EMOTIONAL, PHYSICAL AND SPIRITUAL NECESSITY, THE PRICE YOU PAY FOR LOVE. THE ONLY CURE FOR GRIEF IS TO GRIEVE.” – EARL GROLLMAN

Di Atherton is a soul healer, Reiki Master and teacher, retreat facilitator, speaker and writer with over 26 years’ experience in the fields of personal growth and self-development. She has a passion for empowering people from all walks of life. She addresses challenges in a deep, heart-connected way, giving valuable life tools to support personal growth and development. Di has the gift of helping others to connect to their own inner guidance; to see opportunities instead of obstacles and discover their own truth. Di’s grief work developed when her soulmate, husband and best friend John died in 2019 after 38 years together. Her own grief journey and the lessons learnt guided her to certify as a Death Doula with Sacred Dying SA in 2021 and she now offers support to those walking the path of grief or facing end of life. She has a deep interest in the soul’s journey through life and understanding the lessons and experiences we choose. She has the gift of being able to hold a non-judgemental and nurturing space for those experiencing grief and loss on any level. She lives on a farm just outside White River, South Africa with 2 dogs and a cat.