Today I want you to go on a journey with me using your imagination. To set some background, it is said that we are born out of sin – we start out as imperfect – that when we come into this world, we are already tainted and have to work to bring ourselves to perfection. The reality is that we are born into a world full of negativity, hatred, greed, harming others, violence, selfishness, judgement, unforgiving… I’m sure you get what I mean.
Because of this belief system, there is a tendency to focus on the negative aspects of us as human beings. So, parenting is seen as a constant endeavour to correct imperfect behaviour. You just need to look at how many different ways people have used over eons of time, to punish and correct. It feels to me very much like, parents have spent more time focusing on being ever watchful of finding their children doing something wrong – pointing out their ‘bad’ behaviour and making some attempt at correcting that behaviour. Very often, I’m sure that the ‘bad’ behaviour is actually just perceived to be that, because of legacy learning, teaching and experiences.
There are so many different ways that parents have used to correct their children’s bad behaviour and the most common has been and still is, but perhaps to a smaller degree, corporal punishment. It feels a little like more parents have adopted an attitude of punishment and reward through taking things away from their children that they enjoy, making them sit on the thinking chair or thinking step – whatever that actually is! Any self-respecting logical thinking person will know, that neither one of these punishments work. Because punishment does not bring about positive behaviours. Negative cannot beget positive. And people don’t know what they don’t know, especially little children!
So without it sounding like I’m having a little rant, I want you to imagine a world that is 100% completely different to the world that we live in right now. Imagine that we are all born into a world where we are seen as absolute pure and perfect humans. Our parents have been born into a world where they too have been seen like this. Through the ages, all parents have learned that they focus on spotting every amazing aspect of their children, and they reward that behaviour. Every time the child shows them how great they are, they are rewarded. Every time they do something right, they are praised for it. And when any negative kind of behaviour is encountered, a discussion takes place. A truly indepth discussion that allows the child to see that because they did something that is not socially acceptable, it doesn’t make them a bad person. A discussion that acknowledges and allows the child to see that they are on a path of discovery and learning and that when behaviour happens that is unacceptable, they are given tools to correct that behaviour. They are empowered to make great decisions that catapult them forward to do great things!
Imagine a world where no-one feels the need to numb the pain that they’ve experienced. No-one is walking around half-dead because of the effects of the drugs that they cannot live without. No-one is self-medicating through drinking copious amounts of alcohol and just crawling on their hands and knees to get from one day to the next! Imagine what that would be like?!
Imagine too what we actually are teaching our children, when we are constantly focusing on the negative – when we physically harm them to get them to bend them to our will. Imagine again, what we will be teaching them if we focused on the positive, if we rewarded them every time they were amazing. I think over time, there would be no need for the separating of negative and positive behaviours and how they are dealt with, because we would be in a world where people love and respect and treat each other well. Physical punishment is a form of violence. And I know that there are many adults who will disagree with me. I know so many people who have said, I got a good smack and look how I turned out – I’m just fine. But the mere fact that they have to justify that they are okay even though they experienced physical violence from their parents when they were younger, shows me that they are not okay. Again negative begets negative.
As parents, our children need to see us their soft place to fall. We need to be the ones who are offering them safety and security. And I know that all parents say that they love their children unconditionally and that they will do anything for them, including giving up their lives. I believe them 100% – I really do. But, and there is a but – we cannot be people who love unconditionally when the message is sent, that if I don’t get my way, I will use my size to brutally force you into submission.
So, whether or not you are in agreement with me, we should be changing our messaging that we are sending out to our children. Our love should be absolutely unconditional and we should be teaching our children to love themselves unconditionally. We should be pointing out to them how amazing they are, how absolutely perfect they are so that when they grow up, they have a personal truth that shines through in the most beautiful way. And through that beautiful personal truth, they won’t have the need to go searching for themselves. They won’t have the need to self-medicate. They won’t have the need to beget violence on someone and in fact they will see violence as a foreign language. Drugs and alcohol will cease to exist in terms of how they are used for numbing and hiding and working through pain.
Just imagine this whole new perfect world – if you can imagine it, you can make it happen. It starts with one person changing the trajectory of their life and of their children and grandchildren’s lives. It’s a beautiful concept and one that I believe can be achieved. Perhaps not in my lifetime, but it has to have a starting point and if that starting point is now, who knows when that perfection will be reached!?
Author: Spirit Connection
Spirit Connection is an online platform to facilitate connecting light workers with people seeking their help.
