You Make Me Brave

“I have heard You calling my name … So, I will let You draw me out beyond the shore. Into Your grace … You make me brave. You make me brave. You call me out beyond the shore into the waves. You make me brave … Now no fear can hinder the promises You make” (Amanda Cook, Bethel)

The first time I heard this song, I was at a gathering of Christian women. I had just dissolved my marriage and I was crippled with anxiety and fear. Tears flowed as I sang this song and in the back of my mind, I wondered, will I ever be brave?

I was so fearful. I was particularly afraid of confrontation and because of these fears, I became a walk over and people pleaser. Now I have come to understand that these fears were founded on lies whispered by the enemy. These beliefs led to strongholds in my life. I hid my fear of confronting people behind scripture. Matthew 5:38-39:

“If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.”

I would lie to myself that I was being a good Christian, a follower, and a good example of Christ. Meanwhile, I neglected scriptures wherein Christ confronted so many wrongs. In fact, He confronted the living daylights out of the Pharisees and many religious people.

But this was some time ago. I recently recalled this memory as I reflected at the end of my day, during my prayer and quiet time with the Holy Spirit. I had to confront a situation which I experienced that was inappropriate and completely unprofessional at a nonprofit organization. When this incident occurred, I hesitated to raise the alarm about it, because I had so many balls in the air that required my attention and raising this, meant I would have to take precious time away from these crucial duties.

I am involved in a few organizations where I administer committees and give input as well as conduct oversight. In one such organization, the service is done in flagrant disregard towards the public. I am also involved in community activism. All these activities require vigilance and has resulted in my outspokenness.

I have come to realize that organizations and institutions, particularly, in poorer areas, do not enjoy being held accountable or receiving constructive criticism to improve services. I do qualify this latter statement, as there are many reasons for the defensive response from officials and employees to suggestions or proposals. For example, poor management, etc.

I therefore learned that I need to reframe how and what I say to resolve matters. If not, I would deplete myself as it is exhausting holding people accountable.

When the incident occurred, I was contemplating letting it slide to protect my sanity.

However, letting the incident slide made me feel restless. I therefore decided to pray about it, which I should have done before deciding not to act. With all the noise in me, I listened carefully for the still small voice of the Counsellor. In the end, I sent the organization, my letter of complaint. Detailing what happened and why I am complaining about it. Finally, the restlessness left me. That was the easy part.

I had to return to this organization for a follow-up meeting. Although, my prayer request was that my complaint would be resolved before I had to go back, however, that prayer request was not answered. I had to face and confront the people I complained about. This I did.

Later that evening, in my quiet time with the Holy Spirit, I reflected on what happened and I thought, wow, what I did took guts. I realized that am quite brave. It was then that I thought back to the moment of when I sang the worship song and wondered will I ever be brave? I realized that God has made me brave. It does sound cheesy, but it is my truth.

I had to research a political and tricky legal topic recently and came across some opinion pieces I wrote. As I read it, I wondered, “who is this person?” “Wow, is that me?” I checked the name at the bottom of the piece to make sure.

Becoming brave was a process for me. A process where I had to experience trial upon trial. Overcoming and going through obstacles that at the time, I thought would be the end of me.

It is not easy going through difficulties. I was unhappy being led by the Holy Spirit into symbolic wildernesses and valleys. But, it was in these experiences that I had to come face to face with my fears and confront the demons that whispered lies. I had to break down these principalities, strongholds, and allow God to mold and transform me.

In these experiences, I found the One that would fill my cup, quench my thirst, and fill the void inside me.

It is the counsel of the Holy Spirit that drives my confidence, and this makes me brave.

Zelna Jansen is an ex officio board member of BE ✝️HE CHANGE

BE ✝️HE CHANGE vision is “Empowered communities where every young woman and child has self-agency.” Be ✝️he Change is a non-profit organization, facilitating change within society by improving and enhancing the lives of young women and children through education support, advocacy work, skills for life and other empowerment programmes.

Zelna Jansen is also the Executive Director of Zelna Jansen Consultancy, a lobbying and advocacy firm with the aim of bringing people together to find solutions and helping people to have a more effective conversations with their law- and policymakers.

She is an admitted attorney of the High Court, with an especially keen interest in public policy, trade law and constitutional law. She has a Bachelor of Arts (prelaw), a Bachelor of Laws and a Master of Commerce degree specializing in trade law and policy. Through her volunteerism in leading roles in several organizations she actively engages the community and social spirit necessary to uplift many in South Africa today. This includes writing opinion editorials, news and radio interviews and educational workshops with community organizations and schools on how to conduct advocacy on law and policy reform.