A few months later I started having gynae problems and having been through menopause around 2009 when my marriage started falling apart it was of concern and I consulted a gynaecologist who recommended that I have a Hysterscope and D&C. This was in November 2018 and I was off work for 1 week. 2 surgeries in 1 year … the last times I had had surgery were 1985 and 1988 when my sons were born by Caesarean Section.
Everything went well and life returned to normal. My Dad spent Christmas with my sister and her family in Johannesburg. It was the first Christmas after Mom had crossed over. Ryan went to the U.K. to spend Christmas with his father and to stay with Kyle. Marc and I went for lunch with friends and ended up spending the night which was unplanned but lovely as they were staying at their holiday apartment on the beach.
Ryan, Kyle and Vicky flew back from the U.K. together so my house was full again, not that Kyle is home much when in S.A.!!
New Year was quiet, Kyle and Vicky had gone to Howick with a group of friends for a couple of days and Ryan stayed at home as he had to work. Marc and I had gone to bed early.
Kyle and Vicky came back and headed straight for the game park for 2 nights. All too soon their holiday was over and they were heading back to the U.K.
In March (2019) I started bleeding spontaneously again. I was worried and contacted my gynaecologist who said that if it continued I would need an ultrasound. I decided to see if it was a one off occurrence or if there was a pattern. The bleeding became more frequent and varying. I kept a record and in July, yes I know it was a long time but I needed to monitor it, I printed out my notes and took them to her rooms. By this time I knew for sure something was very wrong and I was worried. An appointment was made for me to see her and have an ultrasound. She was very concerned and I was booked for a total abdominal hysterectomy and bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy (removal of my uterus and ovaries) because of my age I no longer needed my ovaries.
Surgery was delayed because I needed to take my Dad for his hospital appointment and I had also planned to take him for lunch to celebrate his 89th birthday. The following week my colleague was on leave so the first suitable date was 1st August.
Surgery went well and I was in hospital for 3 nights. I was booked off work for 6 weeks. 10 days later I returned for my post-op appointment and was given the news that when the histology was done a small malignant tumour had been found in my uterus / endometrium. The lab report classified it as an adenocarcinoma which meant that it could leak into the tissues and glands. My gynaecologist was confident however that because the tumour was small it had been contained and I had no need to worry but she still wanted me to see the Gynaecologist-Oncologist who was the only one in Durban in private practice and she had apparently already spoken to him. This was not news I was expecting to hear!! I was stunned. As I was not yet driving Ryan had taken me for my appointment. He was pretty amazing when he heard the news. We went home and discussed it and I asked him to come with me to my appointment as he knew more or less what to ask as he was already under the care of an oncologist.
An appointment was arranged for the following week. Ryan came in with me. I guess not too many Moms’ take their son’s into their doctor’s appointments in such cases but I knew he needed to be there with me. At the appointment a Specialist Clinical & Radiation Oncologist was also present. They took my history, had me go to an examination room where they checked my cut from my hysterectomy and then met me back in the office to discuss my options…
These were –
1. Do nothing (not a good idea)
2. Radiation … if I decided on this then I could not have it again and I still would not know if the cancer had spread so if it hadn’t then it would be overkill (not an option I was happy with)
3. Further surgery to remove my pelvic lymph nodes and in that way histology would confirm whether or not the cancer had spread. (In my opinion this was the better option).
Ryan asked a few questions and confirmed what they had put to us. We were then told to go home and discuss it and to return the following week to discuss my decision and the way forward.
I left there with my head spinning. As we got out the door Ryan gave me a big hug, he could see I was rather overwhelmed. In the car we briefly discussed the appointment and surgery seemed to be a no brainer. We discussed it in detail more when we got home as I was replying to anxious messages from my boss and his wife who were waiting to hear the outcome of my appointment. When I told them my options and thought process they agreed that surgery was the right option. This now meant a 2nd operation only 4 weeks after my first. It also put me at very high risk but it was the only conclusive way to find out if the cancer had spread. I would now be off work longer…. 6 weeks following the 2nd surgery and 4 nights in hospital… a total of 2½ months! In 20 years of working in the practice I had never taken more than 2 weeks off at any one time. For the last 2 years my leave has been a day here and there to take my Dad to his hospital visits, apart from when my Mom died and my holiday to Dubai.
At home that evening Ryan and I again discussed the options given and agreed that surgery was definitely the correct decision. Better to know for sure than not at all and have that hanging over my head.
I had a lot to think about and to sort out in my personal life. Marc had not been very well and had also been out of work for 2 years. Even though he was running his own food caravan he was not doing well financially at all. It was a struggle. When he had a full time job he more than paid his way and helped out. My son paid board. Other than that it was just my salary that was keeping us going and I was already in debt. I was very stressed trying to keep my head above water. My divorce was still being paid off and it was going to take some time before that loan was clear. I did not know what was ahead for me. I didn’t know what the outcome of the surgery would be or what future treatment I would need. I just knew that I needed to heal and I needed to focus on myself in order for that to happen. I know that this sounds hard and selfish but I had to think of myself. I waited for what I felt was the right time to discuss this with Marc. One day we were chatting when suddenly I felt as though my body had been covered with something, I was very calm and just knew without a shadow of doubt that the time had come. Later I was to find out that this is called the veil of clarity. Our guides are always with us and know when and how to guide us.
With a very heavy heart I told Marc, yet again, that he needed to find work and although he had been looking nothing seemed to be coming up locally or overseas. The time had come for him to go to Johannesburg to see if he could find something as it seemed as if there were more job opportunities there. He would stay with his family until he could find a small place of his own. He too had debt and I was not in a position to help him financially. This had nothing to do with how we felt about each other as love like ours was rare and very special. We knew when we met that we belonged together; it was as if our souls recognised each other. I told him that I needed Ryan to walk this path with me as he had already been through similar and was still being monitored. Deep down I knew that this was how it needed to be. Marc knew that this moment had been coming but he understood, agreed and made arrangements for his return to Johannesburg. Our relationship remained strong. Who knew what the future would hold…
One week before my 2nd surgery took place Marc loaded his bakkie then waited until the roads would have less traffic before he was ready to travel. We hugged each other tightly, he always gave the best hugs!, and he left saying he would return in about 2 months to collect his food wagon from his friend’s home where it was parked. If he could not find a permanent job or contract work he was considering seeing if working from the caravan as Strips and Chips would be financially better in Johannesburg otherwise he would look at converting it into a coffee wagon. He had advertised it for sale as well which would have been the better option but had had no takers. After he left we communicated often and whether it was a serious conversation or a joke our love and connection remained unbroken.
However it was as if the Universe was whispering “there is more ahead… you still have more to get through… more to learn”… What could this mean? I was about to find out…
… as are you … next time…
Namasté
Yours in Love & Light,
Jenny
Jennifer Harris McGarvie
Hands on Healing
Author: Spirit Connection
Spirit Connection is an online platform to facilitate connecting light workers with people seeking their help.
