Stopping Abuse in the Church

My childhood memories are filled with activities that were initiated and funded by the church. The church also provided meals, groceries, counselling, and prayer in times of need. All of this was made possible through people volunteering and donating to the church. The church was therefore a significant body in the community I was reared in, and I think in many other communities. However, the church has come under severe criticism over the past years about abusing its members. This leads one to ask, who is the church?

In Matthew 16:18, Jesus said that he would build his church on people of faith and the gates of hell will not prevail against it. Jesus is therefore the builder and founder of the church. The bible is also clear that there is only one church. It is therefore strange that there are about 34 000 Christian denominations, and, in most cases, these denominations criticize each other. Indicating divisions and competitiveness. This is condemned in the bible (1 Corinthians 3:3). Acts 20:28, we are told that Christ died for only one church. Ephesians 4:4, states that there is only one body. Acts 2:47 says that Jesus was adding to the church daily. Those that attend the church are sanctified, chosen, saved, and filled with the Holy Spirit.

In Revelations 2 and 3, we are told that Jesus holds the seven churches in his hand. There is the church in Ephesus that abandoned its love for Christ. The church in Smyrna would be persecuted. The church in Pergamum needed to repent from sin. The church in Thyatira was misled by a false prophetess. The church in Sardis was sleeping and needed to be awakened. The church in Philadelpia patiently persevered. The church in Laodicea was rebuked for being lukewarm. I think only two of the churches were not rebuked.

If the church is the body of Christ consisting of sanctified and chosen people led by the Holy Spirit, why is it that it is also known as a place of abuse? Are you aware that the draft Victims Support Services Bill included a definition for spiritual abuse?

I think much of the problems are caused by people who act as they please with no consequence. There is therefore no accountability.

I have had many occasions where I felt wronged by the church. There was a time when I greeted a pastor and his wife and ended up being accused of trying to have an affair with the husband. Can you imagine the gossip that must have taken place? It later became clear that that was not the case. But this made me angry. I asked myself why someone would have thought that. What was going on their mind to make such an assumption and accusation. I don’t have the answer, but I have forgiven them for falsely accusing me and I don’t bear ill feelings towards them.

At the same church, I used to walk past a senior pastor, and she would grunt under her breath. Expressing her dislike towards me. Her husband did something similar, he would make a facial expression to show his dislike for me. The strange thing is that they would go on to preach about how loving Jesus is. Absolutely no accountability and no consequences. I was new to the church and had just come out of a divorce. I was in no position to confront this. After a while I just avoided them. In my journey to forgiving them, I would ask, why did they show such disapproval towards me? I prayed about it and eventually left the church because it became clear that I was not going to grow and heal if I stayed.

At another church, while volunteering, a staff member apprehended me in public. She was of the view that I said something wrong. According to her, she approached me the week before and asked me the same question. Now I’m doing it again. I’m still not sure what was so wrong about what I said but she walked off as if it was okay to do that. Again, no accountability and no consequence. I was completely shocked and angry about what happened. As I was working through this experience, I asked myself why she chose such a measure to correct me. If I was doing something wrong? If I did something wrong the week before, why did she not speak to me about it then? Why wait an entire week, to sort of catch me and scold me? Did she want to humiliate me? Did she want to show me that she is the boss, and I must be afraid of her when I see her? This behavior was clearly not from the Holy Spirit, nor was it done out of love. It seems more calculated and vicious.

These are only a few examples of my experience. My assumption is that in all these instances there is an element of narcissism and pride. It should not be a surprise because if people are left to do what they like without consequences, they’ll start believing that what they do is right.

I do agree that we are all hurting and make mistakes but even more, must there be policies and mechanisms in place to deal with these matters which must ultimately lead to repentance and unity in the church. Matthew 18: 15 – 17, explains how to deal with these matters. If someone sins, you must talk to them and let them know of the wrong they are causing. If they continue with the wrong behavior, you should take two people with you as witnesses to show them the wrong. If they still refuse, tell it to the church and treat them as pagan and a tax collector.

Abuse in the church is real and therefore must be confronted and rooted out. There will be occasion to turn the other cheek. But remember, Jesus was confrontational (Matthew 21:13). Also, remember that if you don’t confront a wrong, you will become an accomplice to the next wrong the person carries out.

Zelna Jansen

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Zelna Jansen is the Executive Director of Zelna Jansen Consultancy, a lobbying and advocacy firm with the aim of bringing people together to find solutions and helping people to have a more effective conversation with their law- and policy-makers.

She is an admitted attorney of the High Court, with an especially keen interest in public policy, trade law and constitutional law. She has a Bachelor of Arts (prelaw), a Bachelor of Laws and a Masters of Commerce degree specialising in trade law and policy. Through her volunteerism in leading roles in several organisations she actively engages the community and social spirit necessary to continue to uplift many in South Africa today. This includes: educational workshops with community organisations and schools as to how government works, how to participate and how to hold political office bearers accountable. She is actively involved in law and policy reform on GBV and assisted community organisations with submissions on the recent GBV bills before Parliament.

Please note that this article has been published to bring awareness around some valid issues. This does not mean that they reflect the views of Spirit Connection.