Mistakes are Proof that you’re Trying

In The Course in Miracles, we’re told that everything that we do comes either from a place of fear or from a place of love.

It’s really quite eye-opening when you realise just how much you do that comes from a place of fear. When thinking about this, I was wondering what would be the greatest fear that we all have in common and it dawned on my that it’s very likely that of failure.

To fail at something is embarrassing and embarrassment makes us feel shameful. Why do we feel shame around failure? Because, people are so very quick to judge. I was chatting to a client the other day about integrating ready-established families as in second marriages where both parties have children from their previous relationship. Now, I get consulted by many people in this position and the most frequently explored aspect of bringing two families together, is the question of how can I discipline my partner’s children. Before being given the opportunity to get to know each other well, there is one partner judging the other through the behaviours of their offspring.

My answer to them is always that the focus should be turned around and what should get the most attention is how do we integrate these two families with unconditional and acceptance. How, as the most influential person in this complex relationship, can I embrace the children, be tolerant with them and make them feel safe and protected in their new environment.

I would say that the discipline aspect of the new relationship stems from a place of love, even though the person is unable to see that. It also is brought to the fore from a place of fear of failure. Fear that they will fail at integrating this family into one unit and their first plan of action is to focus on discipline. Because, when you feel in control, you feel less likely to fail. Being in control is not always the desired behaviour, especially when it is likely to bring about negative emotions and a non-desirable outcome. Being in control, from a position of unconditional love, is an entirely different approach and one that I highly recommend.

Which brings me to the title of this article. Your mistakes are most certainly a sign that you’re trying. Because if you do nothing, you won’t make mistakes. But to do nothing is never productive and never produces positive results. It most certainly does produce results, but very rarely the results that you desire.

So why be fearful of doing something because of what others will think? Is it not better to make mistakes and then through those mistakes, recalibrate and plot out a new course that will rectify the mistake? Of course it is!

This is only one example of living one’s life in fear, but of course, there are a myriad of things that we fear and because of these fears, we don’t allow ourselves to experience our lives as we were meant to. As we chose when we first set out to take on an incarnate existence. When you find yourself wondering if you’re on the right path. If you’re living your life as it was intended. Please think about how much you give power to fear to the point that you’re missing out on your life. And therein will be your answer.

Please think seriously about the fact that your mistakes are proof that you’re trying and don’t be governed by your fears. Don’t worry so much about what others think. In fact, what others think of you, is their business, not yours. It’s not important. Certainly not that important that it stops you from being who you were meant to be and living your life the way you want to. At the end of the day, only you are going to sit in judgement of your life.