Acceptance and Belonging

“Don’t walk through the world looking for evidence that you don’t belong, because you will always find it. Don’t walk through the world looking for evidence that you’re not enough, because you will always find it. Our worth and our belonging are not negotiated with other people. We carry those inside of our hearts.” Brene Brown

By now as readers you know that I promote Brene Brown a lot in my teachings, in my articles here on Spirit Connection and in my daily inspirations that I send to my close group of friends and family. The above statement is what prompted me to start my series Stepping into your Best Self. It is as if these words came directly through Brene to me from my guide.

How many of us walk through the world looking for evidence that we don’t belong, that we’re not enough and that our worth is determined by people outside of ourselves. We place so much weight on what others think of us. We place so much worth on how others make us feel. Interestingly, particularly when we are young, we work so very hard at trying to find that one thing that makes us different, that sets us aside from others, that makes us feel weird and wonderful. My personal opinion is that this need to see ourselves as different is that looking for evidence that we don’t belong. And somehow that search seems to remain with us into our adulthood and when it is that we have always felt like we don’t fit in, then it soothes the pain to find the evidence that we were right.

Brene says that fitting in for someone else is a betrayal that you should not be prepared to do to yourself. And I so agree with her. Your life is yours, and you are who you are. And when you have to constantly be portraying a side of you that you think works for someone else, so that you can feel like they accept you, is just a no go.

Being true to yourself is scary and I say that because acceptance is the one thing that every single human being yearns for. But the question is this? Do you accept yourself? Please don’t ever get me wrong – I am not someone who advocates that we carry the attitude that I am who I am and you like it or lump it and in doing so, I give myself permission to behave in whatever manner I choose and I give myself permission to say what I want to regardless of whether it hurts or harms other people. I certainly do believe however, that we are all totally and completely 100% responsible for our own lives. And that means that we can find those things about ourselves that we don’t like and we can change them. We can change our behaviours. We can change how we navigate through the world. And we should see ourselves as a constantly evolving project. Because when you do, you get closer and closer and eventually to the point of where you accept yourself. And in accepting yourself, you give yourself the freedom to operate with integrity and honour. And that’s a beautiful space to be.

Brene also says ‘The first time you pull away and find power and standing on your own, I think your heart is marked by the wild. I think you belong in, into the wilderness in a different way because every time after that, when you choose fitting in, over belonging to yourself, it’s painful.” And I just love this, because if you’re going to experience that kind of pain, it is so much your higher self, bringing to your attention, that you’re moving through repeat patterns that no longer benefit you and no longer work for you. And it affirms for me that you have made the connection into yourself that is bringing you into complete awareness of yourself and your thoughts and your actions, every moment of every day.

This is what we are all striving for. Awareness is paramount to our happiness. It is paramount to our sense of wellbeing and in fact is paramount to our health! Because awareness brings you to a place of complete control of your life and wow, that is a powerful place to live!

Please do yourself a favour and watch this video – you will see that it what I have taken excerpts from Brene Brown from. She is so inspiring and this video is truly worth watching :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6j7DbxtMbpQ