He Finally Showed Up

I felt so alive. For six months, I had to be in a spiritual coma. It was a necessary process I had to endure to master presence. I am now on the other side of this life-altering experience, in a completely different dimension.

I felt so good, I wanted to go out and sing karaoke at the bar on the bay. I used to sing professionally and love singing any chance I get. My problem is karaoke starts at 8:30, and I usually yearn for my pajamas as I rarely go out.

I poured a glass of wine and figured I’d settle into Netflix when I heard a voice say, “GO TO KARAOKE!” When I hear guidance, I always follow it. I put plastic wrap on the wine glass and put it in the refrigerator.

He was working on refurbishing his boat when he decided to get dinner. Walking back to the boat, he saw a sandwich board sign that said, “Karaoke Tonight!” He was curious, so he went in.

I signed up to sing two songs. While singing the first one, I noticed a man at the bar who didn’t fit into this crowd any more than I did.

While waiting for my second song, the man asked if he could buy me a drink. The moment I saw his face, I was captivated. I know how this stuff works. I’ve experienced it before. You cannot make this stuff up. The connection you feel when it is at the cosmic level – there are no words. You cannot describe it in human terms. The feeling is so light and free as if long-lost playmates have found each other yet have no idea.

He followed his gut, and I listened to guidance. It put us in the same space at the same time. Now, it is up to us to see where this is supposed to go.

We came together because we were supposed to meet that night. I was just off the heels of a substantial spiritual commitment, and now I was completely free for anything to start in my life. He is not in the same space.

Trying to navigate these waters can be challenging. Too many people give up and never see the beauty of what they came together to find. Life is not easy. It is chock full of pain and heartache. But there is a way around it.

How can someone like me, who is present, full of life and love, and ready to live; how do I inspire someone who is still in the middle of their story? My hope is to share more of my stories like this.

If this beautiful man could know the woman before him was tortured as a child. Could he comprehend it? I don’t believe he could. He can’t see that in me because that old story no longer exists. Could he comprehend that my mother shot my father – and we had to hide from him as he threatened to find us and kill us after she paralyzed him? Most likely not. He can’t imagine it. He sees me as this small and peaceful thing.

I want to share with him how all the tragedy I had to go through was for me to experience a story and then move beyond it. I had to move through it. I had to let it all go. Every story has a start, a middle, and an ending. The problem is most of us stay stuck in the middle. We don’t see the end; we call it our reality.

My last twenty-seven years have been a huge expansion. I stepped into a story. He was handsome, white collar, and successful. Something I rarely ran into. We married and had a child.

I came from poverty and sadness. This new world of buying stuff just because you can afford it was foreign to me, but it was like being pregnant. You slowly grow with it; you can’t see how much it isn’t something that is who you are to your core.

He bought so much. He constantly researched the latest technology. It ate at me when he would do research on what skis he needed to buy for our four-year-old child! I couldn’t understand why until I was no longer part of the story. None of it can make sense when you are smack in the middle of it.

Looking back, I was so out of alignment with my soul. Money, toys, and stuff don’t matter to me. Having a roof over our heads is for shelter. I’d be fine in a yurt. I had such an inner conflict because ‘money life’ became my story over the years. I felt comfort in being comfortable since I feared never having enough throughout my entire life.

I am no longer part of this story. I do money my way. I desperately wanted to get out, but I became so used to a life with money and comfort, fears of not surviving surfaced. I knew I had to overcome it. I was not someone who needed to be taken care of; I have never been.

Seeing my role from this newly removed lens helps me see how well I played my part, but now looking back, I was so icky. I was pathetic. I was afraid to leave because I had comfort in a now-loveless, money marriage. But I did leave. Now I see why I had to get through this. I had money issues my entire life. Now, I realize it means nothing, and I will always be abundant.

The beautiful soul I met on our magical karaoke night is in the middle of a story. I hope that my sharing this can shed light on my process and help him find his way to the end of whatever he is going through.

You close your eyes, and I see your thoughts. I know you are in the middle of something right now. You don’t need to share any part with me, but I will ask you to move beyond it so you can fully come to me. As those thoughts dance in your head, see and feel what is right before you. Do you feel more aligned with the one before you or the thoughts dancing in your head? What makes you feel icky?

These thoughts are from an old story. You are no longer in that story. Surrender to it and let it be. It is not your now. Just be present, and in this moment with me. Because ultimately, it is the only one that can ever matter.

He knows this is much too powerful to walk away from, and I am not letting him off easy. I have waited a very long time for such a feeling to come to me, and I deserve to feel this good. I will help him to this space, holding his hand the whole way.

Cari Palmer

Cari Palmer Bio:

If I hadn’t lived the many phases of my life, I wouldn’t believe it could all happen in one lifetime. All I imagined after giving up my victim card was being a writer/speaker for Hay House. I was the queen of self-help and I was ready to change lives. Fast forward a decade or two and now, after re-membering who we are and why we are here, self-help was a lifetime ago.

Following my guidance has brought me to a place I couldn’t ever imagine! I have mastered living in the present moment. I have become a Zen-like creature. Once you feel this good in every moment, you can never go back. When you realize we create our own reality, why would we make any part of this thing we call life miserable?

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