I Miss My Twin Flame

Every time I opened my laptop, there was his picture. It was a picture from another time when he carried a different frequency. He looked good. When I saw the smile, I saw so much beyond the physical body. This picture of him on a houseboat reminded me who I was waiting for, the one I knew would and could show up. That is if his human brain could get out of his way.

I no longer have him on my screen saver as I know that for this time in his life, our time together can never be. He is too broken and raw over stories that happened in his history. I can’t and won’t compete with an old story. I am not broken. I am free and blissful, ready to love at the highest level possible. He can not. He cannot love himself enough to trust that I can love him.

This is sad, as I genuinely miss the man in the mirror. He was my twin flame. This is a thing. I’ve heard people speak about it before, but I’ve never imagined it or thought if it could be. I didn’t care. When I said the words in passing early on, he gravitated toward them. He read the description to me as I was driving back home. It was spot on.

The connection was natural; being together for extreme periods right out of the gate was easy for both of us. I can barely be around an animal for an extended time. To be okay with one hundred percenting for a bit with another human is out of my reality scope. l was with him full-on, and I was enjoying every bit of our unfolding. We both were.

It was fun watching as different parts of ourselves emerged, and we found ourselves to be so exact on so many levels. Games we played, sports we did, we did the exact same. It was as if we took turns winning over and over again. I was playing with myself. We both saw so many similarities – magical and mystical cannot begin to describe the synchronicities. It just was.

I live in the Fifth Dimension full-time. He lives in the third. He has a lot of history and skeletons in his closet that he has yet to deal with; most humans do. They have to surface and get lost. He cannot look at me through eyes of love, while he can’t look in a mirror and love the man looking back. We are in different dimensions. This is not a bargaining chip. This is not doable.

As I was learning how to immerse myself in this new life of being a partner 100% of the time, I was still living fully in the present. I accepted every moment with gratitude and used every heavy conversation as a lesson. I kept us on track, and it was a challenge. Meanwhile, he was going backward. He was looking at my Facebook page and trying to piece together whatever story or relationship situations he could imagine may have happened in my life. He was creating a backstory that never existed.

Rather than being with his twin and learning all we could about each other and how to stay the course, he was creating a life I’d never lived. He couldn’t get out of his head.

I warned him right out of the gate – and repeatedly… the only thing that could come between us would be his thoughts. And that is precisely what happened.

Yes, finding your twin flame can really happen to you. They can be so ‘exactly’ you on so many different levels. As they unfold, you will be amazed. We were down to the same birth year and high school graduating class. We had the same timeline for life and all of the events we experienced. It was another huge part of the magic. We just kept shaking our heads in disbelief.

As a knowledgeable friend told me, finding your twin is very rare. Most of us will never have an encounter, let alone a relationship with them. If both parties are not near the same vibrational field, it can’t last.

They both have to fly high on the disc of eternal love without expectation. They must understand that this is all part of the fun of playing in Earth’s creation. They both must be here with the understanding that this is all fun and part of God’s plan, and we get to be in on it. If only one of the twins is on this magical disc, it cannot work. You cannot just “believe” something unless you personally experience it.

To be here, you must throw out all the monuments you’ve held about yourself. As well as any ideals of your future greatness. You learn to be just exactly where you are and in perfect stillness with it. You don’t need any stuff to remind you who you are.

I could never expect anyone to be in the vibrational space or frequency that I am in. I have let go of my life to walk in these shoes. The woman I was before no longer exists. Every shred of who I was and what I was became non-important. I returned home to just ‘being’ while being utterly peaceful in my shoes, exactly where they are at all times.

I had to give up everything that matters to humans to get where I am now. Even with my horrific childhood, I did not know Hell until I had to walk down this path. This is the hard stuff. Then, I had to surrender and completely let go of any idea for any outcome. I gave myself to God and the Plan already in place for my existence. I let go and let God. That is how I got here.

He may be my twin, but he can’t just ‘be’ here because we will it to be so. He has to do the hard stuff just like I did. Each one of us has to take the steps.

I have shared life and space with my Twin Flame for a moment. It was beautiful. It was magical and glorious. It was an experience I will never forget. It was yet another miracle in the long strand of miracles I am handed daily. When you live in gratitude, you always get more of the magical merry-go-round; gratitude, happiness, miracles, rinse, repeat.

Perhaps… one day in the future, we can be friends. It would be fun to see where the twin experience could take us. For now, I will fondly remember meeting my twin and watching us look at ourselves in the mirror as we unfolded together. It was wild and magical.

Cari

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Cari Palmer Bio:

If I hadn’t lived the many phases of my life, I wouldn’t believe it could all happen in one lifetime. All I imagined after giving up my victim card was being a writer/speaker for Hay House. I was the queen of self-help and I was ready to change lives. Fast forward a decade or two and now, after re-membering who we are and why we are here, self-help was a lifetime ago.

Following my guidance has brought me to a place I couldn’t ever imagine! I have mastered living in the present moment. I have become a Zen-like creature. Once you feel this good in every moment, you can never go back. When you realize we create our own reality, why would we make any part of this thing we call life miserable?

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