When Love No Longer Feels Like Love

At some point in time, we’ve all felt that absolute euphoric feeling of being in love. It’s an all-consuming pulsating, tangible sensation that fills up every cell of our being and occupies each and every bit of our waking moments.

What exactly is love? It’s a question that I’m sure we’ve all asked before. I know I’ve written about this before, because I’m reminded of the way that Hollywood portrays love in so many movies directed at young people where the message is one that unless one feels pain, there cannot possibly be love! Or something along those lines.

But when we get down to the wire, what is love. What is it that brings people together where they feel an intense connection to each other and feel kind of honour bound to one another. I’m not talking here just about couples in love. I’m talking about relationships between people of all ages, no matter what sex, no matter what denomination, no matter what culture or nationality. I’m talking about one person meeting another person and developing a relationship that you just know will last forever.

So for the couple in love. At the very beginning there definitely is that sense of connectedness and all-consuming sensation that I describe above. But as time goes and you settle into that relationship, does love change? Does the feeling that you have for one another dissipate? Does it get stronger? Does it just become something that you get used to and so you no longer feel it’s intensity? And when the intensity wanes, what is that which you feel? Is it still love, but on another level? Or is it something deeper than love, if that can be possible, and if so, what is that?

I’ve not been witness to many people who can attest to being in love for years and years. Perhaps you have? Perhaps you’re one of them? Perhaps these people are the lucky ones – or is it luck? Perhaps these are the people who truly understand what commitment is. Perhaps these are the people who just know that what you put in is exactly what you’ll get out and if they want to have a long-lasting rewarding and mutually satisfying relationship with any particular person, they need to put in the hours, so to speak, to make it work. And that’s not to say that love is work, but I do feel that it’s a privilege that should be taken seriously.

When someone trusts you enough with an emotional commitment, I think you owe it to them to honour that trust. And no doubt you will reap the reward because all positive interactions are reciprocal. I don’t believe that one can claim to be in love with someone if the other person isn’t in love with them. My feeling is that in these instances, that person is in love with the idea of being in love with the other person and of course that will never work out. And what do you do when love no longer feels like love?

It is of course possible, for someone to stop loving the other person whilst the other person still feels love for them. Why does this happen? Is it a chemical thing? Is it an emotional thing? Is it a physical thing? Is it a combination of them all?

Shew, an article filled with questions! I would love to hear from you – send me your comments, your thoughts. I’d very much like to hear from people who have had relationships that have lasted many years – it doesn’t need to be with a partner, it could be with a friend. What I’d like to know is this : have you do anything consciously to keep the relationship going or do you think that placing too much focus on making it work, will change the magic? Will move the goalposts, so to speak? Let me know by emailing me [email protected] or though making a comment in the comments section below this article.