Know what you own – and know why you own it.
When it comes to our finances, each of us has our own individual approach and I believe that the way we approach our finances goes beyond particular behavioral characteristics.
I think our approach to finances can be viewed in more of a multi-dimensional setting, where money has a different role in each of our lives. For some, money means survival. For others, money is something that is a part of their lives but rarely on their mind, regardless of the role it actually plays. For yet others, money is an obsession, as accumulation signifies achievement. Some people view money as insurance, or a defensive resource to protect against future setbacks. Some people want money to provide a good home….or to contribute to the ability to have certain hobbies….or to provide something of a legacy for future generations….and so on. Sometimes the same person may view money differently in different situations. The bottom line is that we each have our own relationship with money, and our own conscious and subconscious needs for money, rooted in our value systems and cumulative life experiences.
Taking an introspective approach, you can figure out your own approach to money and the role it plays in your life. Knowing there is no right or wrong, determine what its role is for you, what framework it fits into that includes each of the following elements:
- Romantic Relationship
- Health and Fitness
- Money/ Financial /Wealth
- Personal Development
- Spiritual Growth
These are linked together as a part of a system. They’re all connected, to the extent that if one is strengthened, the others will be strengthened and if one is weakened, the others will be weakened.
Money is but a component in the system.
My view is that the underlying reason for your current financial position is to express feelings that have been with you for a very long time.
This is probably the most important aspect of understanding your relationship with money and beginning to change it. So let’s just look at this for a moment.
- Disappointment: If you had a lot of disappointment as a child you are bound to have financial stories that end in disappointment.
- Alone / Isolated: If you felt very alone and isolated as a child then it’s very possible that you are going to have trouble making money.
- Undervalued / Discounted: If you felt undervalued, if you were discounted where you were teased or made fun of, then it’s very possible that you are going to be underpaid as an adult.
If you can understand why you have the financial situation that you do then it’s easier to shift that situation by shifting your emotional expression. That is, by understanding the emotions you are acting out through your money, expressing those emotions appropriately in the correct situation where they belong, leads to more functional financial behaviour.
Here I’ve broken down emotional financial positions into 3 main categories. These are:
Less than enough, Just enough and More than enough.
In this article, we’re going to look at the emotions connected to having less than enough and having just enough.
In the less than enough position it feels like there is never enough money. That no matter how hard you try you can’t make enough to meet your needs. You may make 40k a month and not have enough money for the things you want on a daily basis or further education or to pay your bills. Or you may earn 250K per month and not have enough for the house you want or to take care of your car: you are always using credit of some sort in order to fill what you consider are your requirements. And if you are in a less than enough position you’ve probably been here for a long time and it really doesn’t matter what your earning level is.
Just enough is where you feel you have just enough to pay your bills and just enough to get your basic needs met and there’s not much left over for anything else. And again, if this is your habitual position it will remain, no matter your income level because of the principle that states that expenses rise to meet income. As people move up the financial ladder, they get bigger houses, bigger cars, more expensive holidays, bigger insurance policies – their expenses keep expanding so they keep in this just enough position. When you have just enough you know exactly where your money is going: you don’t have to make any financial decisions where you could make a mistake: you don’t need to worry about extra, you don’t have to worry about investments – that’s for somebody else to worry about.
In the less than enough position, the emotions are needy, empty, alone, inadequate, unworthy, unsupported, defective, unfulfilled, depressed and often a sense of impending doom.
With Just enough there’s often frustrated, unappreciated, feeling invisible, bored, limited, blocked, trapped – that sense that you just can’t break through. Trapped is a big one in this category.
In summary, we can say that the main feelings that are acted out through money are abandonment, shame, anger, depravation, resentment and a sense of being trapped. All the other emotions are usually related to these 5 main feelings. For example along with abandonment is lonely, alienated, disconnected, fear of failure, dread, untrusting. Along with shame there is low self-esteem, the feeling of being invisible, defective, inadequate and guilty – and the list goes on.
I feel this is key in understanding why you are where you are financially and how to change it.
Know too, that the minute you have surplus (more than enough) you have a whole different group of decisions to make and you need to deal with yourself and your money in a whole new way and you need to be equal to that.
Throughout my journey, the body has fascinated me: be it on a physical, emotional, mental or spiritual level. I have been curious as to why it behaves the way it does on all those levels and whether, if at all, they are all connected. And I came up with a resounding “YES!” Using all the Body knowledge I studied, and learned and pieced together, through a multitude of teachers and modalities, enables me to understand how the body works, how it is in continuous conversation with you – if you’ll just pause and listen.
All Key Academy emerged to create a safe, secure and protected environment in which to learn, empower and transform. This is where you can learn a variety of methods to communicate with your body, through modalities such as, Chakra Balancing Massage, Mindfulness Meditation, Multi-Dimensional Meditation, Business, Life and Self-development coaching (“In The Flow” and “Money Matters” coaching programs), Life Mapping, De-chording and Access Bars. I am also a qualified life and business coach.
Using tips and tricks from the above modalities, I facilitate business coaching as a consultant, opening up business owners to possibility and self-realization that if they themselves don’t change, their business cannot change. An eye opener of note!
My point of view is that your Self Relationship is the most important relationship for you to know in the support of you in your journey.
Once you understand and are aware of your Identity – your auto-responses – you are able to SHIFT them if you want to.
All my work as a Transformation Educator is to support you in your understanding of your own Self Relationship as you travel on your journey to emerge into all of you. This is my Soul Purpose.
I look forward to sharing this knowledge with you in ways that you feel resonate with you.
How can I support you today? Michele Mollentz, All Keys Academy