Why Do We Talk but Fail to Truly Communicate?

Having spent my Saturday at an Holistic Fayre selling crystals and giving crystal advice, it was once again brought home to me how many times I had been asked similar questions about communication issues. In this particular instance, I was asked advice on what would aid communication when all that seemed to happen when this couple spent time together was arguments would result…

When we fail to truly speak from our hearts, when we allow fear to influence us and hide ourselves behind it. We become frustrated and from frustration comes anger. This will inevitably lead to arguments. Many of us are afraid of what others will think of us. We crave acceptance and understanding, but don’t realise that when we hide ourselves and say only what we think others want to hear, we are only being accepted as the mask we wear, not as the person behind it. True communication happens only when we speak our truth. Speaking our truth makes us vulnerable and fragile. We don’t like to feel powerless or fragile, so we hide ourselves, we bite back our words. Every time we allow our fear of being vulnerable to win over allowing ourselves to be open and true, it becomes harder to be open, to be ourselves and the mask we wear becomes more prominent.

We are angry because we expect our loved ones to see through the mask, see the real person behind it, but we don’t show ourselves, we hide. This anger and frustration eventually takes on a life of its own. When I am in an uncomfortable situation, one where I don’t know the people I am with very well, or even when I am feeling out of sorts, I find myself filling the conversation with inanities; small talk about the most inconsequential of things.

By nature, I am not someone who enjoys small talk, but towards to end of my marriage it’s all I had left with my partner. We no longer had the ability to communicate. We spoke of inconsequential things and pretended that, that was enough. I learned many lessons from my marriage, but one of the biggest was that over time a lack of communication makes you grow apart, until one day you discover that you are in a relationship with a stranger.

There are many options that you can use to help you work on effective communication, but as a Crystologist, I recommend communication aids from my speciality.

Blue Lace Agate is one of the most effective crystals for communication. Blue stones encourage the flow of energy and have a natural affinity with the throat chakra, our means of communication and expression. When the flow of communication is muted, internal pressure builds up. Unexpressed, this energy can become resentment, frustration, anger and aggression; unable to flow The blue vibration eventually becomes red energy that will eventually explode. Blue stones can help ease the pressure by facilitating our need to communicate our feelings and freely express who we really are, thereby releasing pent-up energy before it has the ability to explode and cause untold damage.

A feeling of pressure is often felt at the throat when emotional stress is being released. A piece of blue lace agate placed at the base of the throat will quickly ease and release the energy. Blue lace agate strengthens a sense of calm centeredness that can help in social situations if you are inclined to draw attention to yourself through your speech. It encourages focus, discernment, and tact in speech and discourages nervous habits of impulsive chatter or wandering speech. Blue lace agate elixir would be a useful essence for building confidence in public speaking or in general social situations. Wear or carry on your person for peace and happiness. Place in your hand to de-stress. Lay one on your desk or other workstation and gaze at it when you find yourself in stressful situations. In the home, a blue lace agate surrounded with flaming, light blue candles, calms the psychic atmosphere and reduces household or family quarrels.

Carry or wear blue lace agate to improve your communicative abilities, if you struggle to express your emotions without getting upset. Blue Lace Agate will also lower the volume of communication, so keep a bowl of crystals in the home if you have noisy children, a howling dog or a screeching cat.

My second recommendation is Amazonite. Amazonite is a stone of heartfelt communication. Helping one to express thoughts and feelings without fear of confrontation and conflict. It assists one in communicating higher truths and higher knowledge. It is the stone of truth and assists one in becoming more perceptive of the truth for oneself and in others. It can almost be called the crystal lie detector.

It helps you to move beyond fear of confrontation or judgement, allowing you more freedom in acting in alignment with one’s higher truth and integrity. It encourages one to speak and live your truth for the highest good of all. Amazonite assists one in aligning your actions with your words, in essence it teaches the lessons of integrity and truth.

I leave with the words of Robert Frost to ponder, “Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can’t, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it.”

Virtue Joannou (BSc (Hons) – Geology) is a Crystologist and Usui Tibetan Reiki Master Teacher.

Virtue discovered at an early age a sensitivity to crystal energies, not truly understanding the source of her fascination with rocks and minerals, she decided to go down the science route when she finished school and studied Geology and Environmental Science at the then Rand Afrikaans University, before doing her Honours Degree in Geology at the University of Adelaide, in Australia. After her awareness was expanded, she studied various healing modalities and discovered a deeper understanding of the metaphysical properties of crystals.

Virtue is passionate about helping others on their journey of spiritual awareness, healing & growth, through the use of alternative therapies. She offers Reiki, Reflexology, Colour Therapy and Crystal Healing through her business: Violet Sun Complementary Therapies. She regularly teaches Crystal Healing courses and Reiki. Details of upcoming workshops can be found on her Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/violetsun.therapies/