The Most Important Relationship you have is with Yourself

The most important relationship you will ever have is the one that you have with yourself. I have no doubt that there are many people who will agree with me. Some people won’t. For a lot of people, their partners come first, their children come first, their parents come first. But when you get down to the wire, you are and should always be, number one in your life.

Why do I say this? Quite simply put, you cannot give what you don’t have. So, if you don’t have self-love, you’re unable to give love. And here I’m talking about that unconditional love that comes with no strings, that fosters empowerment and only wants the best for you. When this is the deep all-encompassing love that you can feel for yourself, it is only natural that it will spill out into your relationships with others.

You need to be your own best friend. Yes, you need to keep yourself in check so that you don’t just allow your ego to dominate every action and every decision that you make in your life. But being your own best friend, means too that you are compassionate with yourself, you understand that there will be times when you mess up and that’s okay. You realise that you are struggling and stumbling along through your life in the very same way that others are struggling and stumbling through theirs. And when you do, you make allowances for yourself in a good way, in the same way that you would make allowances for someone close to you. You admonish yourself less and you get to know yourself completely from the inside out and back again.

If you consider great relationships that you have. Those that make you want to be around that person. Those that make you not want to leave the positive energy and wonderful sense of belonging that they make you feel. Take a minute, think about it. Isn’t that what you want to feel for yourself as well? How many people can truly say that they love to be in their own company? They love to be around themselves and they love absolutely everything about themselves? And I’m not talking about the physical aspects of yourself, I’m talking about the very essence of who you are.

We should all be fostering relationships with ourselves, great truly deep and meaningful relationships. It’s not difficult. We do it all the time with other people. We want other people to like us and so we act in ways that makes us fun to be around, that makes us likeable. Why not behave in that same way with yourself? Surely it makes great sense when you take the time to really think about it. But, sadly, most of us don’t truly like ourselves. Most of us are unkind to ourselves, we expect so much of ourselves and we always feel like we’re falling short.

I heard someone talking the other day about imposter syndrome. I looked it up on google and this is the definition that came up : Impostor syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon, impostorism, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their skills, talents or accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud”. Sadly, this is so true for a lot of people, including myself. And the sad result is that when you see yourself like this, you deny yourself the opportunities that are presented to you by the universe, on a daily basis. And why? Because you don’t believe in yourself enough. You don’t see yourself as being good enough. Be honest, we all do it – all the time!

So my message to you today. Place yourself as number one in your life. Work on your relationship with yourself so that you love yourself for who you are, warts and all. And I’m not saying make excuses for your shortfalls so that you don’t have to work on improving yourself all the time. I’m saying, be kind and accept that you have flaws and you are going to make mistakes. But at the same time, give back to yourself enough to correct the errors that you make without casting doubt on your abilities and your capacity to bring about change in your life. Know that you are a beautiful shining energy that is an extension of our Father/Mother God. Know that you have the capability to invoke the energy that is the Universe and through using that energy to your benefit, you can create a beautiful and harmonious life where you are truly your best friend.