The Lost Child

Let’s talk today about “The Lost Child.” I have been writing a series of articles to discuss the various categories that describe the roles that we take on as children. These generally centre around growing up in dysfunctional families. However, nothing is set in stone, as so whether or not your family was dysfunctional, you may find either yourself or one of your siblings has taken on a particular set of traits and behaviours that assist in helping them (or you) through your life.

Each one of us face difficulties through our childhood and it is a natural progression that we develop survival tactics to help us navigate these difficult and challenging experiences that we go through.

The Lost Child is particularly interesting. They are in general :

•Shy
•Quiet
•Solitary
•Appear mediocre
•Attach to things and people

These behaviours or traits are generally brought about because these children feel :

•Rejected
•Hurt
•Anxiety

The Lost Child refers to an individual in the family who often has been ignored and seems or feels invisible. This child generally has a low sense of self, identity, and worth. Not much is expected of the Lost child, because they are not pushed to try hard or to succeed. When these traits and behaviours are extended into adulthood, as they generally are, survival in the adult world proves very difficult.

The Lost Child Adult often has poor communication skills, difficulties with intimacy and in forming relationships. They deny that they have any feelings and “don’t bother getting upset”, because no-one takes any notice anyway. They don’t feel seen, so why make a fuss? They are more likely to deal with reality by withdrawing from it.

In order to overcome this role and develop the ability to move into deeply emotional relationships, the Lost Child has to confront their rage and fear. Recognition of the pain of the past, as well as its emotional emptiness is critical for their healing. I have this fabulous personal development course entitled Power Up – Dare to be Yourself and I highly recommend that you consider taking up the opportunity to do the course with me, especially if you recognise yourself as The Lost Child. To find out more, click here