A problem shared, is a problem halved! This statement has been around for many years and was written by Katie M John, who I believe, was an author. I’ve never read any of her books, but I have no doubt that some of you may have. Interesting how out of the many books that she has written, this statement has become one so easily recognised by many.
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Over the many years of helping people navigate their lives, I have come to understand how much we all struggle to offload our problems onto someone else. It seems that for the most part, sharing our problems with someone else, feels like we’re taking our problem and laying it at their door to solve. It feels like a weakness to not be able to take on your own problems and find solutions for them yourself.
Two Minds are Better than One
Another statement that we’ve all heard so many times. Yet somehow, we still don’t take it seriously – the actual act of putting two minds together to come up with a solution to one mind’s struggle! Somehow when we find ourselves in a situation that we’re struggling with, one of the strongest emotions linked to the struggle is shame.
Brene Brown tells us that shame cannot exist in the dark. We also all know that monsters only exist in the dark.
Surely it would then stand to reason that if you have something that you’re finding it difficult to work through, asking someone for their guidance, confiding in someone, is a great way to get it out into the open. This also gives you the opportunity to work through your problem, with the input of someone who isn’t so closely emotionally invested and to get a very different perspective. Generally a different perspective is all you need and you will come up with the solution yourself anyway.
The Problem will get Heavier
When you keep your problems to yourself, they will continue to go around and around in your head. You will find that as they begin to occupy your time and your energy, so they will almost begin to take on a life of their own. And it’s almost as if you become obsessed with that particular problem. You have the same conversations with yourself and it feels like you’ll never get to the end of this dark tunnel.
But of course, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. If you just give yourself the opportunity to seek out the wisdom, guidance, advice etc that you need, from someone you trust, you will find that the load will in fact become lighter.
Anyone who works with people coaching them, whether that be a life coach or a psychologist, always allows their clients to speak. To offload. To dump. And it is through all the talking, offloading and dumping, that the mind is cleared of the endless self-conversation, opening up space for new perspective. For new ideas. For a solution to be inspired by the guides.
Lay Your Problems Down
Don’t be afraid to lay your problems down. When you do this, you will find that the weight of that problem, suddenly is eased. You don’t have to carry the load all on your own. There are professionally trained people who can help you. If you feel that this is not the route you need to follow, find someone with whom you have a mutually beneficial relationship. Someone who loves you unconditionally and who won’t pass judgement. Someone who will listen to you and only offer advice if you ask for it.
Know that you have the capacity to work through any problem that you have and find the solution to that problem yourself. We are so much more courageous and so much more emotionally equipped than we ever give ourselves credit for.
I can help
If you feel like you’re struggling through your life, I do Spiritual Life Coaching. You can find out all about Spiritual Life Coaching by following the link in the navigation bar above, you click on this link (here) to take you to the page. You’ll also find a free pdf to download that will give you a full explanation as to what Spiritual Life Coaching is all about.
Should you feel that I am the right person to help you, don’t hesitate to contact me.
Until then I remain
As always
Yours in service
Glynis
Author: Spirit Connection
Spirit Connection is an online platform to facilitate connecting light workers with people seeking their help.
