Becoming Conscious

Taken from Anatomy of the Spirit by Caroline Myss PhD

There is nothing easy about becoming conscious. My own life was much easier before I knew about the deeper meaning of choice, the power of choice that accompanies taking responsibility. Abdicating responsibility to an outside source can seem, at least for the moment, so much easier. Once you know better, however, you can’t get away with kidding yourself for long.

My heart goes out to people who are working hard to release their negative attitudes and painful memories. ‘just tell me how, and I’ll do it’, they say to me. We are forever looking for the easy meditation, the easy exercise, that will life us out of the fog, but consciousness doesn’t work that way. Ironically there is a simple way out, only it’s not easy. Just let go. Let go of how you thought your life should be and embrace the life that is trying to work its way into your consciousness.

So many people struggling to find their way are in that necessary but confusing state of waiting. A part of each of them is eager to allow the Diving will to direct their lives, yet they remain tormented by the fear that they will lose all comfort on the physical plane should they actually surrender to it. So they are held in a waiting position until they are strong enough to release that fear and embrace the deeper truth that ‘all will be well’ – not ‘well’ by our definition, perhaps, but certainly by God’s.

Toby contacted me for a reading because he was suffering from severe depression, arthritis, and impotence. In evaluating his energy I received the impression that his health had declined almost immediately after his fiftieth birthday. In fact, he believed that once he turned fifty, the best years of his life would be over. As I shared my impression with him, he responded, ‘Well, just look around you. You see any business opportunities for men my age? I live in constant fear now that I’m going to lose my job to a younger person, and then what will I do?’

I suggested to Toby that he begin a physical exercise program, focusing on rebuilding his physical body. He needed to do something to experience the return of power to his body and by extension to his life. Much to my surprise, hew as open to that suggestion. He had been putting off joining a gym, he said, but he agreed to do it.

Then I told him to read some Buddhist material about illusions and to begin to think of age and time as illusions. This suggestion stopped Toby in his tracks. ‘How can time be an illusion?”

“You can make a decision that you will not age according to an ordinary time line. You can decide to throw away your calendar and give every day your best,” I replied.

Toby started to laugh. “I’d love to think that could work’, he said. I said “Then try it. You can always go back to being an old man. That option is always there. But give this a try first.’ Then because of the lightness in Toby’s voice, I asked, “Do you realise that just for these few moments, you weren’t depressed?’

Toby paused for a second “You’re right. I wasn’t aware of my depression at all.’

‘are you right now, experiencing any arthritic pain?” I asked.

“I would have to say no, not at the moment. But then, it comes and goes anyway.’

‘But right now, as you ponder on the possibility of feeling free and good again, you are neither depressed nor in pain, correct?”

“That’s correct.” He replied.

“so let’s just assume that the more positive mental options you give yourself, and the more positive action you take, the better you will feel, and you will recover your power, including your sexual energy.’

Toby said “Okay. But what if I can’t maintain a positive outlook? Then I it all comes back, right?”

“right.”

“So, you’re saying I’m in charge of my moods and my arthritis, and that depression increases the pain. So I’m in charge of all this.’

‘Looks that way.’ I said

‘You should have been a lawyer.” Toby replied. ‘You’ve given me a lot to think about.’ He added. “I’ll do my best.”

Four months later I received a postcard from Toby. He and his wife were on a cruise. The card read “Having a wonderful time – day and night included.”

It’s not often that one conversation can so thoroughly turn a person’s life around, but Toby was willing to look at his attitudes and recognise that he was choosing to swell on negativity. When a person so readily embraces the energy of wisdom, I can’t help but imagine that the spiritual forces present in our energy fields, like Hodhmah, the sefirah of wisdom, are just waiting for an opportunity to penetrate our consciousness.