End of Life Planning

Di Atherton is a very dear friend of mine, living up in the beautiful Lowveld of South Africa. Di is a Reiki Practitioner and Spiritual Teacher, one of the most compassionate and kind people I have ever met. Probably the most important work that Di does is working with people to help them work through the grief process. She is a trained Death Doula and has some amazing insight to share. I hope you enjoy her article below and really urge you, if you are struggling with grief, please give her a call, she really can help you.

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Our time on Earth is just a small part of our soul journey. Like everything else on this planet we are born, we live and then we die. The natural, age-old cycle of life. Death is the certainty, the only unknown is when that’s going to happen. In my work as a grief guide and death doula I am constantly surprised at how little preparation is done for our death. We seem to think we will live forever.

If you knew today was going to be your last day on earth, is everything in place? Will your loved ones be taken care of? Does anyone know what’s to be done with your pets? Where your Will is? What kind of funeral service you want? What music you want them to play? Do you even WANT a funeral service? If you run your own business, who will carry on with it? What’s the plan?

Lack of preparation can cause untold misery and stress for those left behind, at a time when they are already trying to deal with the shock of your passing. I have seen widows frantically running around looking for insurance policies. A wife who had no idea where their bank accounts were held (this was many years before the internet and online banking), or even where the post box was. She had always left everything up to her husband and couldn’t even draw money to buy a new dress for the funeral.

Parents who fail to make plans for their childrens’ care in the event that they both die together. How many times do you see on social media urgent pleas for donations for children orphaned after the sudden death of both parents, with nothing in place for their well-being and care? When my friend’s Mom’s partner died he carefully left a list of everything she needed on his laptop. And then forgot to leave her the password to his laptop!

After my husband died and I moved into my new home alone, I had the realization one day that if anything happened to me – like I fell down the steps between the two lounges, hit my head and died, no-one had a clue how to get hold of my family in the UK, or my step-children here. Who my attorney is, where my investments etc are. So I sat down and typed up a list, sent one to my sister and one to my attorney to include with my Will. It included details of my bank accounts, investments, cell phone account, insurance, medical aid, doctor, contact number of friends etc. I also typed up lists of emergency contact numbers and put one on the board in my kitchen and one in my car.

My husband had always said he didn’t want a full Catholic funeral Mass when he died. Unfortunately he didn’t put this request in writing so that’s what we ended up having due to the insistence of his sister and I certainly didn’t have the energy to fight her on it.

So when you are at that point of “shuffling off this mortal coil” to quote Shakespeare, please make sure you have left behind clear instructions! Don’t be one of those who are still “getting round to it”! To make it easier, please download my free Ebook End of Life Planning which gives you all the info you need to ensure that while your loved ones mourn your passing and process the many emotions the death of someone brings, the practical details are taken care of.

Spending that bit of time on this task will be so worth it.

You can find it on my website Grief/End-of-Life Guidance – Di Atherton