None of us saw it coming…
Therefore, none of us was prepared, and we all feel as if life pulled the rug out, right from under us…. We feel lost at sea, confused. Suddenly brain fog is a daily occurrence, instead of because of traumatic incidents. So, it’s safe to say we feel traumatized now for a year almost, on a daily basis.
What are we to do, how are we to find our footing again, will life ever be normal again, are we going to make it? These are but as few questions that run through our minds over and over and over again…is there help out there, and why do I feel so bad, so sad, so desolate and lost, so unsafe, so anxious, so sleepless, so worried about ourselves, our children’s futures, our income, or lack thereof.
We need a plan, a new idea, a new way of doing, of being, of coping of being better prepared, but where to start…Where is the government, are they even helping, do they have our backs, who can I trust?
The ultimate, most powerful answer lies right here…in you…in your mind, in your thinking, in your ability to choose, to make new decisions, to take in and create new patterns of thought, that leads to new actions and new ways of living. To let go of what seems familiar, but hasn’t really been good for you in the long run…
A small example is this, how we spent money before Covid happened, is vastly different from how we should be spending money during and post covid. Yes, money is a sensitive issue, and yes you are not going to like what I say; but then it’s also true that you don’t like the mountain of debt for dinners and stuff you can’t even remember you had, and the sleepless nights that come with that.
You see, the answer is awareness; and an habitual choice of taking responsibility for what and how you live your life, and you can see how well it is working for you based on the results you get. So, what we need more of, and we now have ample time to practice this: Self-regulation is a set of skills that helps us better choose our responses to things that happen in our lives. We have very little control over the events that happen outside of us, but we have a great deal of control over our responses to those events.
Where to begin with this new way of living? How does one master your life from the inside out? Will it even make me feel better? Will it rock the boat, will it upset me, will my family be ok with it?
As with most things, just beginning to think about it, and have inner conversations with yourself about the choices and options available to you will get you well on your way to becoming aware of your inner world, and how satisfied you are with it or not. Let’s go back to the money thing- once you begin to ASK yourself some questions…about what works for you and what doesn’t, where your money leaks are, and where you are not looking forward well enough re saving and crisis management, then you are in a much better place to begin making choices that will aid you, your budget, your family, and your future. Sometimes a coach is a great sounding board, and aware of further questions to assist you in making sure you have covered all bases. Only when can we begin a dialogue and commit to make the vital changes, then the self-regulation skill of being consistent comes in to play. By repetition and practice our brains will rewire and make the new decisions and choices a habit…but only with real consistent effort, and application – without action nothing changes!
So, when you are ready to address more facets of self-regulation in other areas of your precious life, and start trusting you, your mind, your world, and work from there, you will feel so much more empowered and soon you will feel that life supports you again. The power is you.
Frida Willis is a Licensed Psychotherapist and Registered Life Coach in Pretoria, Gauteng.
Her practice is often on site at corporates, but she also works from her home, a visual haven for mind, body and soul, called Bharosa, situated in Leeuwfontein.
An avid pet lover, mom to two Italian Greyhounds, a Whippet and a family of cats.
She is known for her logical, fun, and creative approach in her Coaching, Counselling/Psychotherapy and Training workshops. She believes in a tailored approach. Everyone has a unique experience with unique needs, so for an exclusive approach and innovative solutions to life’s issues and ills…a chat with her may do. You the world of good.
Expect a creative approach, solid logic, and sound wisdom from Frida, often referred to as “The Happy Lady”!
Cell: 082 453 3997