The Problem Child – Do You Recognise Yourself?

According to the Encarta online dictionary, a problem child is “a child who requires a disproportionate amount of attention or correction.”

We’ve been exploring the different categories of Child Roles adopted by children when experiencing difficulties or challenges in childhood. These behaviours or traits become the child’s currency which means that they use these traits and behaviours to extract from elders, a particular desired outcome. It’s really interesting to note that very often, the outcomes are not positive ones, but in the mind of the child, as long as they are eliciting an outcome ie being seen or noticed, it matters very little if the outcome is positive or negative. A very sad observation and one that we should be cognizant of, especially when it comes to our own children, or younger children that we interact with.

Children have a way of blaming themselves for everything that goes wrong in their lives, without understanding that particularly in childhood, there is very little of their lives which fall into their control. Mostly everything that happens in the child’s world is happening to them, because by the very nature of them being minors, they have no say in their own lives. As children learn to become the focus of the problem, they develop a set of behaviours and traits that they use to navigate their difficult and very often, challenging lives.

Today, we look at the Problem Child which by it’s very name comes across as being the most difficult child to deal with. These children are very often hostile, defiant, rule breakers and find themselves in a trouble a lot. We know that all behaviour stems from a deep inner feeling and with the problem child, these are generally feelings of rejection, hurt, guilt, jealousy and anger. Knowing too that children so often do not have the vocabulary to express how they feel, and so it stands to reason that they act out instead, in order to receive the attention that they so deeply long for.

If you recognise any of these traits or behaviours and particularly if you have taken these traits and behaviours into your adulthood, please know that it’s never too late to change. There is absolutely no reason why you cannot live a life filled with all the beauty that life has to offer. I have a wonderful self development course entitled Power Up – Dare to be Yourself that I would encourage you to explore with me, should you feel that it’s time that you transformed your life. Click here to find out more