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What Is It That Defines You?

When asked what it is that defines you, what is your answer? Is your first response to convey information about what you do for a living, whether or not you are a parent, how many children you have, where you live and what car you drive?   Or, is this a question that you find rather difficult to answer?

How many of us actually know ourselves and what it is that should be defining us – what exactly it is that we believe in, whether it be religion or otherwise; and what our ideals are, our hopes, dreams and belief in ourselves?

Your past need not necessarily define you and if it doesn’t, then what is it that you take as a point of reference? You have absolutely everything that you require inside you. Make your higher self your guide and in doing so, express what it is that your higher self tells you.

An amazing exercise for us all to do, is to write your life story. It doesn’t have to be a tome. It can be as simple as starting from year one or as far back as you can go in your memory, and listing each year, jot down something that you remember from that year, something significant that could have had an impact on your life. If you include your reactions and emotions at those times as well, you will find a pattern emerging and should be surprised to see, firstly how far you’ve come and secondly whether or not your reactions and emotions are all positive, mostly positive or only just a little positive. The point of this exercise is to find out how you see your life and in so doing, you will see how it is that you portray yourself to the world. And in essence, that is how you define yourself.

Our life story does far more than re-tell what happened to us, it also sets the stage for what will happen to us. Does your story say you have suffered loss or been hurt so deeply that you will never get over it? Or does your story say, “Life is hard sometimes, but I am resourceful, not to mention still breathing, and I have free choice and the ability to change patterns that don’t work for me”. Creating a new story by which you can live your life is the act of ordering the chaos of the past, assigning meaning through the narrative process, and simultaneously creating a truth you can carry into the future, upon which you can base future choices.

Dr Phil tells us that you have a fictional self and an authentic self and says that the authentic self is the you that can be found at your absolute core. It is the part of you not defined by your job, function or role. It is the composite of all your skills, talents and wisdom. It is all of the things that are uniquely yours and need expression, rather than what you believe you are supposed to be and do. When you live a life that has you ignoring your true gifts and talents while performing assigned or inherited roles instead, you are living as your fictional self. The fictional self sends you false information about who you are and what you should be doing with your life. It blocks the information you need in order to maintain the connection with your authentic identity. Relying on information from the fictional self means you’re putting your trust in a broken compass.

Let’s all make sure that starting from today, we work really hard on identifying our absolute authentic self and live accordingly. No-one wants a broken compass directing their life. Be sure you fix yours with a sense of urgency knowing that it is to your own benefit and that you have your guides and spirit helpers to assist you and sustain you along the way.

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